I have come to realise that the 'About Me' section is meant to be the all-singing, all-dancing part of the profile, and that people generally tend to glaze over/stab themselves in the eyeballs by the time they reach the subsequent sections. So to do a metaphorical tango upside down whilst simultaneously juggling venomous snakes with my feet and belting out crowd-rousing showtunes (I know what the attention span of the TikTok crowd is like these days)---you should know that I can successfully climb a tree, therapeutically bounce a person on a trampoline, produce something resembling notes from an oboe, name the capital of any sovereign state (including some of the more controversial states, for extra fun), fold my tongue into quarters, count to five in a wide variety of languages both forward and backwards (never know when you need to launch a rocket in a foreign land), coax strange cats into letting me pet them, rollerblade on flat surfaces, lose any set of keys ever bestowed upon me, and succeed in every weird and useless and occasionally socially maladaptive skill you could possibly imagine.

I am also an 'aspiring' astrophysicist/neurosurgeon/saver of orphans/pathological liar on the side. JOKE. Sort of.

Anyway, I'm an American Midwesterner who has been living in London for over a decade; I'm fairly domesticated now, but am still prone to occasionally mispronouncing "tomato" as I did in the wild. I'm an advocate for kindness and compassion, happiness and responsible hedonism. Maybe sometimes irresponsible hedonism. YOLO and all that, you know.

I'm simultaneously gregarious and taciturn, comic and tragic, patient and restless, highly strung and easygoing, mature and utterly childish, high brow and low brow (and sometimes a little unibrow if I'm feeling particularly connected with the universe/have lost my tweezers.) I embrace spectrums, contradictions, and paradoxes and refuse to be limited by boxes/polarisation/the green man that tells me when I am and am not allowed to sprint through the crosswalk. I believe in superpositioning. I'm in all states at once until observed. Maybe even the state where I AM juggling the snakes and fire upside down.

I have a husband who is much smarter, more resourceful, and cultured than I am, and far less afraid of spiders. I love him dearly and we enjoy watching a variety of films together. However, due to health problems he is housebound, so it's always pleasant to find friends to do things with outside of the house as well.

Looking for platonic friendship of various depths, witty conversation, banter, intellectual stimulation, someone to distract me from the feeling that all life is meaningless until the eventual heat death of the universe. And maybe a hiking/music gig partner.

I'm nice enough and more normal than my weird and abrasive sounding profile might lead you to believe. I do also sometimes just talk about shows on Netflix like a "normal" person.

American English and British English. I'm counting that as two in a desperate attempt to seem more cultured and worldly. I can also mangle some Spanish, but can't say much beyond "Tengo un perro," --taxonomically problematic if used in a literal context, and just unflattering in a figurative one.

Female

39 years old

Scorpio, though I don't think planetary alignment plays a huge role in one's future unless they're a Martian land rover.

I'm generally fairly shy and socially anxious, but can be louder and a little wild once I'm comfortable around people/have had three or more sips of wine. I try to be open minded, non-judgmental, caring towards others. Curious, eager to learn, adventure/trouble-seeking. Have some non-conventional ideas about free will and how to prepare pot noodles. Can be a little pedantic.

London

not applicable

United Kingdom

I am a teaching assistant at a special needs school. Playdough sculpture, engineering paper airplanes, and Lego architecture are specialties. I also rebound off the occasional trampoline, swim, and skilfully herd children in from the playground with a variety of well-honed techniques that sometimes involve pretending to be a bear.

In the more resume-friendly version-- I instil curiosity in students and foster life-long learning and independence. I try to teach students how to be kind to others and themselves, and glean a little bit of joy along the bumpy road of life. All of these things are important for anyone, but perhaps especially for pupils with a variety of extra barriers and hardships that have had to be overcome in life. In return, I experience the world anew through their eyes--imbued with novelty and wonder and meaning. I have a hand in creating the future I want to see in the world. And I also sometimes get hugs and crayon drawings.

I am rather fond of my current occupation. But nuclear physicist, neuroscientist, private investigator, or rock star would also be acceptable should the opportunity to join the Who for their last tour arise. I can't play a guitar for shit, but I do know my way around a tambourine.

I play tennis and cycle and run unwise distances for my current fitness level, usually collapsing into a heap afterwards. I read a plethora of pop science books and have an interest in astronomy, physics, biology, psychology, history, and philosophy although candidly can probably only recite up to two superficial facts in each of these domains. Which I will insert SEAMLESSLY and RELEVANTLY into conversations about an entirely different topic. I frequently dive into Wikipedia blackholes--starting with the epigenetic behaviour of locusts and ending with existentialism. I'm particularly fascinated by the nature of consciousness, genetics, the science of dreams, dark matter, black holes, the larger implications of quantum mechanics in biological systems, epistemology, ontology, and how to pick the right avocados from the grocery store. Teach me things.

I love the outdoors and frequently develop minor infatuations with characterful/climbable trees, wide open meadows, and quaint country gardens. Also enjoy barefoot wading through streams, swimming in the sea, and scaling mountains. I am always up for exploring/getting lost somewhere new, even if it's just a novel Tesco car park (I once witnessed an illegal street racing circuit in one late at night; it was all very exciting). Music, film, an on-again-off-again relationship with learning Spanish. Writing for cathartic purposes. Pseudo-philosophising.

Men, Women, Other

Local friends
Friends from around the world
One or two close friends
Couple friends
Friends with kids
Exercise friends
New BFF
Friends with pets
Start a club, e.g. book club

Apparently, meet up with random strangers from the internet. Daydream. Compose novels I'll never finish. Dance like no one's watching even when everyone's watching and laughing and copying my dance moves in a mocking fashion. Do you have to retire from doing the worm at thirty-eight? Lots of hiking, going to concerts/gigs, the various things under the hobbies category. Re-emphasis on the hiking with allowances for walking, sauntering, running, skipping, and frolicking as the context dictates.

I'm fine with either/mix it up!

Work out. exercise, Go to movies, Go to concerts, Camping, Hiking, Hit up a night club, Start a group (books, wine, etc) , Play cards, Pen pal or email pal, Just talk. gossip. catch up, Visit the happy hour at your favorite bar, Go for walks, Shopping, Go for a bike ride. rollerblade, Hang out, Meet for brunch, Meet for lunch, Travel, Go to restaurants, Other

Surrey hills for wandering the countryside/inevitably getting lost and debating at what point I can ethically cannibalise my hiking companions. Camden for the nightlife and people watching and convincing myself that maybe I really do need a tattoo and an inexplicable bit of my face pierced. Windsor for reminding myself that in the grand scheme of things I am still a serf in need of a revolution and a castle.

Less locally I love the Peak District, Lake District, and the wilds of Exmoor and keep thinking about retraining as a sheep herder or just as a sheep.

I've been a fair few places in my life, though haven't travelled much lately. I'd love to go to Ethiopia again--charming and friendly people and an opportunity to switch off from the relentless pace of modern life. I'd like to visit some far flung places, Socotra Island in Yemen, the beaches of Namibia, isolated provinces of China, the rainforests in Guyana. I want to be a modern day Lewis and Clark. Or well minus Clark. And minus all that white man manifest destiny shit.

I have a semi-feral cat that I "rescued" from running around the housing estate. I gave him a bowl of cream ONE time, not realising this is akin to a contractual adoption in the cat world.

I have no kids of my own, though view my students as sort of surrogate kids. I am also a giant kid myself.

Married

A History of Everyone Who Ever Lived, Electrified Sheep, Chaotic Fishponds and Mirror Universes, The Planets, Delusions of Gender, This is Going to Hurt.
Some past favourites include Sapiens, Thinking Fast and Slow, A Brief History of Time, Catcher in the Rye, The World According to Garp, Cyrano DeBergerac, Les Miserables.

Eclectic taste comprised of most genres--indie, rock, country, blues, soul, funk, reggae, r&b, new wave, metal, world music, classical, ambient, anything really. Listen to a lot of older classics generally, but am always open to anything equally uncool.

That new and trendy place, My usual favourite restaurant, Let's do a potluck!, A dinner party, Two words: Pizza + beer

Early Bird - early to bed and to rise, Night Owl - I like to stay up late!

Water. It's very hydrating.

Social drinker

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